My cook, my inspiration (Part II)

The following 3 years, my cook's daughter worked very hard to get her engineering degree. When she graduated, knowing her attitude and perseverance, my husband arranged for an interview in his office. People who did not know her, interviewed and she passed the interview. She worked in my husband's office as a QA person for 3 years and one of the other sponsorers recommended her for a job with a better offer.

She came back to us asking for advice. We felt that she must take up the better paying job for her family's sake. Her brother and sister by then were doing engineering too and she was funding their education. Today she has travelled to the USA two times in her job and is making a whole big difference to her family and her sorroundings. They are planning to build their own home shortly.

On the other hand, my cook continues to come to my house doing her chores. She says "I will work as long as my hands can permit". My children will be leaving me sooner or later to take care of their future.

I've learnt a lot from them. Their attitude towards work, responsibility, perseverance, resilience, meeting adversity with a certain state of mind amazes me to no end. My cook not only gives me food to eat but very often gives me food for thought.

Somtimes, I feel blessed to have had this experience.

My cook, my inspiration....

I've always wanted to record my current cook's biography somewhere. So here it is. It's been a remarkable journey for me and for her. It all started in 1992. I was working in IBM then, newly married starting an exciting life with so many dreams ahead. I was searching for someone to help me with my house cleaning, someone who would come in before 8:00AM or after 7:00PM as I was working. My cook's daughter who was probably in class 7 (I must confess that I was ignorant about child-labour etc then) offered to come and work for me. She was remarkable. I never once needed to tell her what to do. She just figured out what needs to be done in my house.

She would work hard, finish work and then go home and study her school lessons. Once in a while her mother would pitch in for her and I kept telling her mother to keep her daughter's school going. Never once did I realise that it had formed a strong impression in her mind, both in the daughter and her mother.

In 1994, I left for Canada for a good 2 years long, vacating the house where we were staying. I lost track of them the next 2 years.

When we came back to India in 1996, with my 4 months old son, I told my husband that I wanted to be in the same area where we lived, so that I can see if I can have the same reliable household help. My husband laughed at me saying "Are you mad? Those peope might have relocated and you have no idea of what you are talking". I did not give-up. We were not very far from the locality that we lived and I started making enquiries of that girl and her mother.

Now, I figured out that the mother had struggled very hard single-handedly to get her daughter's school going and she had admitted her in an Engineering college in Gadag, Karnataka. The daughter was probably in her first year of engineering then. Her mother came to work as a cook for me since I had decided to work part-time with my 1 year old son then. I saw her travails educating her daughter and I and 3 friends funded meagerly (to think about it now) for her education.

To be continued...

Torn apart....

I come across so many women - attempting to balance home and career. There's a feeling of failure, when one attempts to quit the corporate world. I've always wondered - where is this projection of failure coming from - from peer pressure, from society, from media?

Even in alumni groups, the discussion is towards people who have made it to the headlines. Its certainly laudable that they have made a difference. But why should that be the benchmark for others?

I also wonder if our education system hasn't taught us to apply our knowledge in other areas of life. I always feel I lack the application knowledge. Should I not be taking the soft-skills, technical skills, that I've learnt and make a difference to people around me - either family, or friends or even people who work for me at my home?

In the last 2 years or so without a job, I've had very interesting experiences. I am doing lots of small things - from being home when my kids arrive, by spending a bit of time with my parents, by doing some changes in the community I live. These are all not things that is bringing me money but giving me a feeling of living a fuller life. I tend to make a difference in things that I'm capable of and still have time to ponder about life, about things happening around me.
The feeling of having to make best of these moments is always there.

I also want to help others with my experiences, of being bold to explore life in its own terms. Of course, I also acknowledge the fact that without my husband being the bread winner, I don't have this choice. But having this choice, I want to make the best use of it.

Vision...

To carry your own vision ... it requires courage. We have to execute our vision, knowing that one day we will succeed and make a difference.

Gather people who encourage the vision and support the vision and leave the rest behind.

Life's journey...

This is from Business world from one of the case studies comments:

Sucess is the knowledge of the fact that you have the right to dignity, the right to control your own life, a right to belong and a right to have purpose in your life.

Luck is having the opportunity to fulfill these rights of being human. A very few have the opportunity to fulfill these rights.

Happiness is the ability to make dignity, control, belonging and purpose for oneself and for others. The trick of happiness is that all the four journeys have to happen together and not by foucussing on one journey and excluding the others.

"It feels good in the stomach" ....

I really liked this when I was reading about Shelly Lazarus - O&M chief executive. She says "I just sort of go week by week and feel what's right. My whole life has been an accident and it's all been instinctive. It just feels right and I do it. It's very important that it feels good in my stomach".

Taking the right decisions in life, is all about feeling right about it inside! Once that's there, I guess there's no stopping. An no knots in the stomach, it's a kind of feel-good thing and a glow in the heart.

A journey without a job....

Its been a great journey of learning for me, after I quit "work-work" and decided to paint an empty virtual canvas as I went along.

When people ask me, how I quit - don't I feel bored?, the answer is, it was very hard to quit but it definitely is quite a liberating experience. Made me think, why didn't I do that before.

Now, I am "trying" to build my self, family and immediate sorroundings instead of a team in an organization. This sure is more satisfying. Ofcourse, the challenge is one has to consciously separate the self-esteem built around work and the self that still breathes and exists without a job.

Working in an organization in a ready-made setup with smart folks around and is enriching in terms of getting multiple views of things and an enthusiasm for work, new ideas that just vibes into you effortlessly. Here I'm a loner trying to search and seek friends on my own.

But the best thing has been to be able to interact with people in all walks of life and just not people in one industry. Now, I learn from others irrespective of their qualifications.